The Weigh It Is

The Long and Winding Road November 12, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Billie @ 12:47 am

  Even though this blog has been around for about a weThe Long and Winding Roadek, my journey started long ago.  I could go way back and detail the road that has brought me to this point.  Some time I will– because I think that you, as readers, would benefit in knowing the events that have shaped me up until this point in life. However, this is not that post.

This post has to do with the mental aspect of weight loss. The battles of weight loss are not necessarily fought and won in the gym, but in the mind. You would think that continuing what I’m doing should be a breeze at this point.  I’ve worked out consistently (5 days a week) for five weeks in a row. I’ve been told time and again that it only takes 21 days to make a habit, and I’m well past that point. Still, some days, it is a struggle to get out of bed and make it to the gym. It is a struggle to make it count once I get there. Those kind of struggles don’t happen as often as they did at the beginning. In a strange way, I enjoy getting up at 5 am and being done with a good, solid workout before some people have even started their day. Before I used to have started my day!

Despite all the victories, it is not always sunshine and rainbows.  I think about how terribly far I have to go…How long it will take me to get there…maintaining it once I get there…and I become downhearted. I look at the long stretch of road winding out in the distance and don’t pay attention to the step that’s in front of me. When I’m not focused on the next step, I stumble, and end up plopping down on the side of the road crying, waiting for someone to come along and drop me a nice pan of brownies for consolation. Okay, not literally. I think you understand what I mean. For me, a major part of winning this battle is choosing to think on the right things, and not dwell on the enormity of the task at hand. That’s what I’m doing.

Here is a poem that I wrote about a year or so ago–I was 384 then, and having a great run of fitness–had exercised consistently for 6 weeks, and then just tweaked my knee a bit playing volleyball at a friend’s house. “I’ll give it a few days rest, ” I thought. That “few days” turned into a few weeks, which turned into a few months, and then ultimately, a year and three months!!  I wrote this after a particularly good workout. Kind of like the one I had this morning.

“What’s that?” you ask. Well, I determined that I would do the eliptical for thirty minutes this morning–until now, I’ve done mostly 20 minutes, and 25 once (and I didn’t do that on purpose!). So I did. And then I got on the treadmill for ten minutes. That’s right, people. My 405 lb. butt on that elliptical for 30 minutes!! Nothing short of a miracle! I pray each morning that God would protect my joints, muscles, heart, and give me strength for the workout ahead. And He did. =)


What HOPE feels like


Sweat dripping off your nose


after 30 strong minutes on the elliptical


when you could barely do seven before.


The way your thigh muscles sporadically twitch


after multiple sets of squats.


The sweet, encompassing fatigue


that follows a thorough stretch.


This is what HOPE feels like.



Take that, Despair.


3 Responses to “The Long and Winding Road”

  1. tj Says:

    Hello! I came by from Jack’s blog to catch up with your new blog, and tell you that I am cheering for you! 🙂 Great job on the exercise! This journey is worth the fight- no matter how long it takes us. 🙂 Best of luck to you!

  2. Kristen Says:

    Keep going forward. I am proud of you. You know when you start to succeed the devil wants to get in there and discourage you and can even use a child to do it. Focus on the progress and keep you eyes on Christ and He will carry you through. 🙂

  3. Marie Uher Says:

    Billie! You are doing SUCH a GREAT job! 30 minutes is awesome and not an easy task. I know for it is my favorite exercise machine and I could barely go past 40 minutes on it without feeling like I would die haha. It’s AWESOME that you done 30 minutes! I’m SO proud of you! Like I said in the previous post though…take it all DAY BY DAY and nothing more!! It is very easy to feel overwhelmed looking at the long side of things and how far you have left but instead look how far you’ve come! Look at all the benefits your body is having right now because of your choice to get fit and healthy! You have been making a lot of good choices! I love the poem, I remember when you had wrote it. Here is a scripture that I think goes with this, I hope you like it.
    “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” James 1:2-3
    I love you sister and am praying for you. Keep up the good work and stay strong! God is with you every step of the way! :o)

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